How You Know You Lost

This particular blog is just about holding on to your grudges. I use to be guilty of this over the years up until recently actually. Using that for motivation to do better in life just to rub it in whoever's face. For a lot of people the revenge is a recipe for happiness. Till you find that in fact its long term effects are more detrimental than the sweet. If you cant grasp your mind around that concept it will come to you in time. I know for some your about as deep as a bottle of rum left at an A.A. meeting."Not that im deep either" Try an dwell on it for a second though. Geez if I can do it you can.  Reasons being there are things you will hold onto that will stew inside until they effect other aspects of your views on things. Its probably unrealized at whatever state of unawareness your in. Like anything else things of repetition become to be second nature. You think your hurting the one that hurt you? Possibly, but not near as much as yourself. The one who has dealt out your demise more than likely has a short recollection of misfortunes that he/she has caused. Whether it be unintentional or not. You see revenge takes effort. The lack of memory from the perpetrator who is public enemy number one to you. Shows little effort for or concern for the situation at hand. Whatever that maybe. Which in itself means they win. Obviously if its not of importance to them what importance should it be to you? A practice of controlling our emotions is a hard thing to do. Especially for the blood line I was spawned from. But if I can learn to do it. Whether it be through transcendental meditation or goosfraba or prayer. It can be accomplished even for the most passionate of revenge seekers. I mean in divorce who is the one that is hurt the most? What hurts the most? The fact that you lost your heart or your possessions? Or the fact that you cant seem to find an ounce of regret in the X's face or actions? Or is it that he/she has moved on quite easily without you and that makes your skin crawl? Why does it make your skin crawl cause you don't have a way to even the score? No because while your chasing your thoughts and replaying the whole scenario in your head. They aren't!! Plain and simple. Maybe the better they do is just the icing on the cake but the whole idea of them not really showing remorse is more of a kill shot than anything. That's just an example. It doesn't have to be a relationship. There are a wide array of situations it could vary to. Ive started practicing more and more my own methods of self satisfaction exercises. "Ha ha..yeah I know that's wide open" Seriously though. Once it clicks and you get a bead on the actual idea you will find revenge in itself is watching ones plan it and try it. Cause the only one who can cause you pain is you. Yeah there is temporary circumstances that can occur. In the big picture though come on. Even in death there is hope if your heart is where it should be. Think outside the box instead of the immediate alternative to evil bliss. Its short lived and comes as a greater consequence to you than you realize. If achieved by someone of my stature its possible for anyone. It will get to be so that you care less and less and  almost in a way become sympathetic for your culprit..or culprits. Which in itself may become a challenge because their state of idiocracy is so broad that they believe the upper hand belongs to them. When your actually like...Oh were you still?...oh yeah. Your resuming your shallow dive into a pool of hopeless efforts to get back at me. Good luck with that. Ill be watching Sportscenter if you need me. Lol. So hopefully your starting to get the point. In due time it will consume them to the point of calamity. With devastating effects of self inflicted karma. More than likely anyway. Life is about adapting to the circumstances it gives you. Not always fair but its life. Much needed time alone has broadened my horizons on a lot of things. Changed my perception and for the better also. Where one door closes another opens is always the case. You just have to knock sometimes. Keep your mind open and awareness kept in check.