Guess Again

Such a beautiful day outside today and couldn't feel better. Proud of my rant from last night still and I'm still standing by what I say. After some thought two things come to mind. Either people just enjoy the drama or there is a deeper meaning behind some of their antics. If you think its a way of trying to bait me into any sort of retaliation other than verbal disputes. You are sadly sadly mistaken my friends. I'm not so fucking retarded that I would fall into a trap of helping you establish a stupid fucking motive. What fucking planet are you from...again I'm not the one suffering from some type of personal hatred. I applaud those who accomplish whatever your capable of (as far as achieving success in life) and give you props. I don't however think your anything but insecure, melodramatic, and pitiful with your suddle tactics of inuendic expressions. Whether its a strategic method of lame insultivness..trying to invite retaliation of something other than a rise or just your inability to grasp your puny mind around the fact that your emotionally inadequate of taking what you dish out. Again I'm guilty of being a fucking asshole but unfair I am not. State your side of whatever whiny fucking problem you have with whoever you have. I'm not just talking about me here. With the exception of those who have no concept of being just or fair or what it is to appreciate the truth even if you don't like it. There are those who will respect you more if you just resolve it straight up and be straight forward. Maybe you wont continue to engage in a long healthy friendly type of relationship but maybe you establish some sort of respect for one another.

On a different note all together my music has really came along in the last few months. Now when I pick up the guitar. I'm at least able to be innovative on my own, and create my own style of runs ands lead solos. Thanks in part to many hours of youtube tutorials and SRV video study. Hendrix being a heavy influence as well. Still I'm nowhere to being as good as I would like to be and I don't think any musician can ever fully be satisfied. Whenever I think I'm actually accomplishing something I just watch Zack Rosicks's version of while we cry. Doesn't take long to realize that the possibilities are endless on guitar. Still considering I couldn't make a bar chord 6 months or so ago (and didn't want to cause I'm stubborn) I'm happy with how far Ive come.

As far as song writing I'm still very unimpressed with my ability to create any what I consider "real depth" I know theres something to be said for simplicity in lyrics but I grow tired of the same song and dance. It doesn't have to be mind boggling just something different from the norm of what I'm use to writing. A different style but saying the same things in a more charismatic way. Using a larger variety of chords and different melodic tunes. Hendrix was a master at this and his genius seemed to know no bounds. If you want a "God" to believe in folks believe in Hendrix. That would be a definition of amazing.

Just For You

My own personal rant blog site. Ahh yes the feeling of ranting on guilt free now that I've seen the error of my ways in my belief system all these years. Always thinking that Christianity was the way to go and hoping for the best in people. Meh what a load of bullshit!! Give me a fucking break already. So many times id stumble and thought if I truly believed and surrounded myself with these good hearted people. I could make the changes necessary to achieve the type of success that so many of these types seek. Really?? Where the fuck did that turnip wagon go cause I just fell off that mother fucker!! This has been my problem. Watching this type of behavior all these years thinking I should model myself after it? Who the fuck wants to be a part of the family of god if its more corrupt than the average non believer? At least they are not pretending to be something they are not. I was this guy, and I fell for this crap for 30 years till I realized its only because its what I've heard all my life. You cant go out drink,fuck,cuss,smoke,drug, and anything else I've forgot and think your going to the afterlife. I don't give a shit how many prayers you say. I'm all for someone trying to better their self and keeping their morals in line but tone down the hypocrisy. Don't go fucking cheat on your wife or husband then play that holier than holy role with me. You play the fucking game accept your jacket. After all its not the truth people want its perception. Its not what you are its what you want yourself seen as. The ones who are shameless in this world like me who actually cut out the pretending and cut straight to the fucking truth in the heat of an argument. Build a deep seeded hatred in others cause they cant handle it. Its all fun and games till someone steps on your toes then its...What? are you talking to muah? Fuck yes I'm talking to you biaatch!! Did I fucking studder? Don't crawfish with a shitty rumor just to spite me cause you cant handle the truth of  the circumstance. Don't preach to me about karma or shit coming back on me when obviously your so fucked up that you cant see that possibly you fucked up yourself and are paying for it as well? Are you a Goddamn idiot and so egocentric that you cant even consider the possibility? Speak what you think and come out with what you want others to think about your opinion or scandal. To whomever your problem lies with. Don't be a fucking donkey dick sucking piece of shit. Fucking say it!! Don't drop a fucking hint..say it. You think pointing out or completely making something up from thin air is going to fucking over shadow what people already know about you? Heh...most the time the only fucking crime people who tell it like is are guilty of is being labeled an asshole. Then their the target of every self proclaimed "stand up guy or gal" Probably because they have some kind of dirt on them or have said something they didn't fucking like that was probally the truth. I can handle the fucking truth can you? What lie are you covering up? What are you scared people might think or find out? Don't point the finger at the over dramatic booze drinking shit talking asshole. Take a look at yourself mother fucker!! You want to know something fucking ask me? You think you know something fucking tell me!! Pull me to the side one on one and ask or tell. Don't let your jealousy and personal vendetta overwhelm your fucking emotions to the point of lying about it. Or pretending you don't have an issue on your mind. If you have an accusation come with some fucking proof!! Got your feelings hurt by something that was said or supposedly said...fucking say what it was. Theres a fine line between joking and lying I know and if you don't really know me then you probably cant decipher.

I know I'm not the only one that feels this way and sometimes I forget to always stick by this without regard for peoples feelings. But that is the problem now a days is people don't want anything to be in the open they want to say it behind closed doors and think theirs a proper way to say something. Well your Goddamn living room or automobile ain't the fucking place. That persons face should be the place its said to. That way it can be resolved. A goddamn facebook update or message ain't it either. (yes I sometimes get drug into that myself) I hate someone that says.."that was rude you shouldn't have asked them that or told them you heard that" Fucking why? This ain't 1960..fucking rock and roll ain't the devils music anymore. Get out there and stop hiding behind whatever shadow you use to hide yourself. Women are the worst at this shit I must say. I don't think they should be allowed to vote just cause they don't realize logic and reasoning. You cant always go on spite. It doesn't work that way...if your caught your misfortunes aren't mine or anybody else's faults. I'm a fuck up and many other things. You call me one that's true ill give you props for it. Sometimes maybe I wont like it but ill respect you for saying what you think. Being its true and your reaction to my return criticism of you is received with the same enthusiasm. Don't say your not when you know you are. And don't think my mistakes hide your fuck ups from anybody else either. That's all I can come up with to say at this time. Leave me a fucking comment if you dare!!...oh if your going to drop hints..at least be clever and for fucks sake..try an be a lil original. Always using someone elses cliche line of mockery just reveals that your i.q. is less than mine. Oh and if your superior or any better what are you doing wasting your time worried about getting back at me for? Sounds like you may be the one who needs a little more strength from your "God" I'm merely a man and I probably don't even remember pissing you off. But if I did tell me what it was..don't be scared. Don't ruin yourself with depths of hatred or resentment for me. Cause I'm me and your not going to change that. Or whatever happened in the past partners. So id get over whatever ails you and move on. Goddamn Ive finally dealt with my ghosts from the past and I may not walk around like a gloating idiot every day. But for fucks sake I'm not so eat up with envy for the likes of someone of my stature. That its controlling my life. What was probably second nature to me takes you twice the effort and fools you into believing your lies or who the fuck knows. Point is dude/sweetheart that if your day consists of impressing or thinking you are impressing me with any mediocre accomplishment, insult, or whatever else you can cojur up. Your fucking life is more pathetic than mine. Cause im not thinking of you...whoever you are at all. But the attention is flattering and people do tend to want to do these act to people they feel inferior or jeolous of. so I completley understand. for the few that really just like to hate...thats sweet..tell me why cause id love to hear it.

The Best Man Ive Ever Known

The best  man Ive ever known doesn't know he is the best. He unselfishly provides for his family..deserving and not. Never questioning himself if he is able..just always there to do what needs to be done. The best man Ive ever known loves his wife, his kids and especially his grandson. While he has shortcomings he makes them hard to find. Ive known him all my life and can find few. In spite of what nature tries to bestow upon his inherited ways..he always finds the latter. Maybe...his holy spirit watching over him? I don't believe in God but if there is one..this man surly deserves to be with him. Always putting himself last and his kids first its almost unbelievable the lengths he go's to to acquire their happiness. Don't get me wrong they love him already..just he loves to see them smile as in doing something for them he never had the pleasure of knowing as a child. Ive met met few men worthy of mentioning to be genuinely good men. And make no mistake if he wasn't one I wouldn't take the time to type this but he is. He is my father and he is as good as you will find. Many of run in and argument have came our way but never once has he turned from me. While many could say if he did it would be well deserved.

Now that I have my own son I sometimes feel inferior to this man. Knowing that if I could ever be half of what he has for me I would be ahead of the game. At any rate I'm tired and ready for bed. I will continue this later. I guess I should say that he is what ill never be capable of being. Its not from lack of wanting to just some doors arent open to everyone. But im forever greatful and proud that he is my father. Im not ashamed to speak of him in such a manner and nobody should with their fathers either. I dont knw everyones situation but I venture to say if you dig a little you can find some good in anyone. I dont need religion to want to find the good in people.

Ive met few men that I talk of in high regaurd because very few deserve it. A man named Jack Hodges was one though. Another man I cant think of enough good things to say.